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From the Desk of the Executive Director. Did you know…?

Forbes House provides a safe haven for individuals who are victims of domestic violence, and is one stop along the journey of regaining self-control. Along the road to becoming whole again, as well as refraining from being re-victimized, it’s very important to remain vigilant regarding evident signs of an abuser’s sincere desire to change their abusive behavior.

Lundy Bancroft, author of “Why does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, provides a list of changes to look for that may  indicate an abuser is making progress in his/her recovery, and the place to start to measure change.

Signs an Abuser Can Change

  •       Admitting fully to what he/she has done
  •       Stopping excuse-making
  •       Making amends
  •       Accepting responsibility and recognizing that abuse is a choice
  •       Not declaring themselves “cured,” but rather accepting that overcoming abusiveness is a decades-        long process
  •       Demonstrating respectful, kind, and supportive behaviors
  •       Not blaming their partner or children for the consequences of their actions
  •       Changing how they respond to their partner or former partner’s anger and grievances
  •       Not demanding credit for improvements they’ve made

Can Abusers Change?

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